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This week we celebrate a special birthday…





Monica Lewinsky turns 44. Can you believe it?

It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting

 everything in her mouth.


They grow up so fast, don't they?

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine. As they walked, they come across a sign:

"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."
 "I am entering!" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"

"I won First Place !," said Snow White.


They continue walking and they see another sign:
"Contest for the strongest man in the world."
"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
"I won First Place too," answers Superman. "Did you ever have a doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a third sign:
"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?" Pinocchio quickly enters the contest.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.
 "Who the hell is Nancy Pelosi?" asked Pinocchio.

 

 

 

 

 

Isn't it Funny that Speaker Nancy Pelosi says that the Bush Administration was the DUMBEST Administration Ever -

Yes she now says that the CIA and Bush pulled the wool over their eyes over water boarding?

How smart does SHE Look NOW?!?!?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Letter to the Bank

 

Dear Sirs, 

One of my checks was returned marked "insufficient funds."

In view of current developments in the banking industry,

does that refer to me or to you?

HOW  TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

  1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'

7. Feel better?

 

  GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi

 Snopes does not list this as "false", might want to check this out with the IRS and your Senators.


Income taxes are normally due on April 15th unless that date falls on a Saturday or Sunday, in which case they are due on Monday the 16th or 17th.

However, I have been told that rule has recently been changed for this and for the next 4 years, tax payments will not be due until you are nominated to a cabinet position.

Please check with your Tax adviser to confirm

 

Did you Hear?

They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

 

 

It is impossible to make anything foolproof

because some fool will prove you wrong.

 

Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, oil, as well as current market conditions ...

The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

 

APPLE has announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.  

 

WARNING!

There is an email going around titled "naked pictures of Sarah Palin". Don't open it because it could be a virus!.

There is another email going around titled "naked pictures of Hillary Clinton".

                                                       Don't open it because it could be naked pictures of Hillary Clinton!. 

 

If you smile when things go wrong you have someone in mind to blame!

 

 Enjoy the little things,

 for one day you will look back and realize that they were the big things.11-13

Life is ten percent what you make it

and ninety percent how you take it! 10-2

Growing old is Mandatory, Growing up is Optional! 9-28

A Birth Certificate shows that we were born.

A Death Certificate shows that we died,

Photographs show that we lived! 9-21

Some Mistakes are to much fun to make only ONCE! 9-17

The Lesson is in the Struggle

not in the Victory 9-15

 

Now that I'm Older it's great that I seem to have more patience........................................

Turns out I just don't give a shit. 9-8

 

With a BEST FRIEND, you can do anything or nothing and still have a great time! 8-29

What do people who work at Hormel call their Junk email??? 8-22

 

Some People drink from the fountain of knowledge..............

others just gargle! 8-15

 

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans drink, on average 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

This means on average, Americans get almost 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud to be an American - doesn't it!? 8-2-08

The three little sentences that will get you through life:

1: Cover for me.

2: Oh, Good idea Boss!

3: Honest, it was like that when I got here. 7-30

If you ate Pasta & Antipasta, would you still be hungry??! 7-27

 

When you've reached the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on! 07-21

 

Some People Walk in the Rain Others just get Wet 7-20

 

Your word is only as good as your last promise,

kept...........................................or broken. 7-19